I disagree with you about what is fair in relationships. There was no need to tell your boyfriend anything about this other guy. If you wanted to end the relationship with your boyfriend because you were not really in love with him. that's fine, but no need to tell him hurtful things. If you wanted to end the relationship with your boyfriend because you wanted to be free to pursue other potential relationships, like with this guy you've been sexting, fine. But, again, no need to tell old boyfriend anything about who might be going to take his place. This idea that sharing all the inner workings of your mind with someone you are in a relationship with is the stand up thing to do is something I don't support. What matters and is relevant to old boyfriend is what you would decide to do about him. I think you should have waited a spell, after you ended the sexting, to decide what you really wanted to do.

This new guy is not all that into you, but he wouldn't mind planting his flag on your bed because . . . oh, well, why not? You're making yourself feel a little better by going with the notion that "It's not that he isn't very interested in me. He just doesn't want to be serious with any girl." That's baloney. That rationale gets used so much to make something seem less insulting than it really is. You simply don't rock his world. He sees no potential to really fall for you, but he figures why should he turn down some free sex, if he can get it.

As you are finding out, we really are not in charge of when we will fall for someone. Neither is he. He hasn't fallen for you because he hasn't fallen for you. But you have fallen for him. He's not a good friend of yours and he's not a good guy. A guy who was your goid friend would not be flirting with you, when he knows he's not really that interested in you. Did he know you were involved with your former boyfriend? If he did, then him encouraging you to be romantically interested in him was really creepy.

If you can't resist the impulse, then go ahead and get intimate with this guy. It will just lead to you getting hurt, but that may be the only way you'll get past your infatuation with him. Then you can move on and be free to find someone with whom the caring will be mutual.