The first thing I would do is stop laying all your problems at the doorstep of "cheated on." The common thread between you and your first wife and you and your second wife is you. I suggest you set up therapy for yourself to help you understand yourself, why you chose the women you did to marry, and how to enjoy being married to your present wife.

Then I suggest you and your present wife get family counseling. This will help you start working together and will help you with the children.