that's a great understanding you have of why you were si-ing!

depending on what i'm doing (cut, burn, other, etc) for me the why is more about punishing myself and/or releasing anxiety (i can get such a high from si-ing sometimes)

i don't think it's about attention for me because no one ever knew! i kept it a closely guarded secret!! all mine!!! i just had to tell my doc and then the hospital because it was getting way out of hand and i was afraid of what i'd do next

i can relate about the being in the hospital - having just been - it was nice NOT having to stress about work, paying bills, mowing the lawn, doing laundtry and on and on.....but being in the hospital was insanely boring!! and was a stressor in itself....i think i'd like the partial thing...but i don't think we have anything like that....plus i have to work.....

awesome goals....career choice and taking care of your own family!!