I know those feelings and thoughts too well. However, I've suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (as well as anorexia and bulimia) since I was 13. I've never been happy with my appearance, especially since I'm such a freaking perfectionist. Unfortunately, unless I result to plastic surgery (which they refuse to do due to my disorder), I can't really do anything about it.
Anyway, just when I thought my self-perception was bad enough, I caught a glimpse of myself via my phone's camera unexpectedly. It was very shocking, since I could not believe that hideous person starting back at the camera was actually me! It felt kind of akin to hearing my voice for the first time via a recording. I've spent years not wanting to leave the house, because I felt too ugly and socially awkward. The thing is, others people don't see me this way. I've never had issues attracting men (just keeping them) and have often been considered attractive. I just don't get how others see this. Fortunately, I try not to focus on these thoughts anymore, since I know it's my mind working against me. Besides, looks are fleeting. We all grow old sooner or later.

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