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Lemon said:
sunrise - thanks for your thoughts. Let me know if you come across anything good and I'll do the same for you.
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I recently found this site, for Divorce Magazine:
http://www.divorcemag.com
They have some really good articles. They also have some discussion forums, which I haven't explored yet. Some are more active than others.
Lemon, I'm glad you are able to see your T so frequently at this very difficult time. ((((hugs)))) I am seeing mine about once every 2 weeks now. I was doing couples therapy with my husband (with my therapist) for a while, but we have terminated that after 8 oh-so-useful sessions. Now I'm back to individual.
I understand completely about what you wrote about grieving. I have been grieving the loss in my marriage for over 2 years now, and we still aren't separated. We plan to separate sometime this Fall and divorce within several months of that. Although I was the one who initiated the divorce, I have layer upon layer of grief and sadness about the end of the marriage and the loss of the relationship. And just when I think I'm done, something new will come up and it will be more tears, grief, and just a profound sadness. Sometimes it is just so nice to go and sit with my T and have him recognize and name my sadness, and sit there with me as I feel it. "I feel your sadness," he will say. But compared to a year ago, I am so much better and "together" now. We've started the divorce process and so far, so good. I could not have done this a year ago or even 6 months ago.
A book that was really influential for me was
The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons. This book provided me with a lot of role models--couples who divorced in a humane, civil, and caring way, and who did not end up in constant litigation or hateful animosity. This book stimulated positive and significant action in me, and was a piece in my "healing puzzle," which is still incomplete, but filling in day by day.