I hear you Gerber. I seem to be struggling with pushing my T away. We had a difficult session and ever since then all I can do is go in chatter like a teen at the lunch table. I did call him after my last session 2x - one was to tell him how I really was feeling, the other was an issue that I need his help with - paperwork type stuff. He had me come in and we went over the paperwork - he wrote me notes so I could fill it out later. But he did touch on the first phone call - said he lets me direct the session - he doesn't want to control it. Now if I can find the courage to trust just a little more. I so want him to fix me - but he can't - he can only help guide me to fix me. I just need to trust. T just stinks sometimes.