Thanks obsids. Talking to myself isn't working anymore. The other night I thought I was going to die. I just couldn't take it anymore. I just don't know what to do. Take it one day at a time I guess. I try to distract myself, but the problem is I am exhausted from distracting myself. I can not be still for a minute. It is 1 am - I can't lie down and go to bed because my mind has a mind of its own. I don't know why it is so out of control. Sorry didn't mean to rant - thank you for responding.