Hi all,

I'm really wondering about the way I feel when I am in front of my therapist : When I look into her eyes and see some kind of joy in it, I feel as if I was a very happy & cheerful child. This is so strange because i don't feel the kind of happyness my 26 yrs old age makes me usually feel - the adult happyness- No, I feel this is the sort of feelings I would get when I was a child. It's immediate : as soon as I see this in her eyes, I feel this cheerfulness right away!

I know this has to do with transference..and I was wondering if any of you feel the same in front of your T?

I also wonder if she can see what she makes me feel, like stupidly happy, my eyes full of admiration for her..

It's actually a bit tricky cause inside I feel like a stupidly childishly unbelievably happy kid while I have you know to appear like this normal, "don't worry I don't feel anything huge for you" adult..
This is gonna sound silly but sometimes, while she's talking to me, & we look at each other, I tell her in my head "I love you so much" & I 'd love her to feel it but obviously she can't know...
I have noticed that what I really want is her to love me. This is what I really want -her love. I try hard to understand how she feels, if she feels anything 4 me but I don't know..

What about you? Does this happy kid thing rings a bell? Or do you feel completely different in front of T?

Thanks for listning !