I just recently broke up with a very nice lady with Asperger's. We were together for 18 months. It was a tough breakup.

When I first met her, I barely knew what Asperger's was. Over time, I noticed traits in her and her son that I just could not figure out. It was just things such as they had no friends at all. They were very preoccupied with a routine and specific topics, etc. They could be very rigid on things that we could do. We could not go anywhere noisy, no bright lights, no radio, no tv, etc. Her son who really liked me, never said a word to me in the 18 months we dated. He would play with me, laugh and we had lots of fun but not one word. He would only talk to his mom and no one else.

The first thing though that was a problem for me is her "shut downs". The first time it happened, I almost called an ambulance. We were talking and suddenly she stopped everything and just sat there. Would not say a word and then walked over to my couch and layed in the fetal position. I got very scared and thought something happened. I tried talking to her and she barely would respond and then walked up to my guest room and stayed in there all night. This happened several times during our relationship and it caused a lot of stress (for me at least).

Some well meaning friends met her and her son and told me at one point they could see Asperger's traits. I then studied up on the subject and everything made sense. I them decided to try harder and understand what she and her son must be going through.

Sadly we broke the relationship off. I just could not deal with the mood swings because I never knew what to expect. She is a warm, sensitive woman and I will miss her. I wish I was a stronger person and could have accepted her for who she is.