My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I need to tell you something but I don't know how part XV

Chummy · Aug 29, 2015, 10:11 AM

Dear Pdoc

I'm not sure if I should go to my appointment with you. I think this everytime when it's close to the date. I don't know what to do. These meds aren't working enough. I don't know if I should keep you as my pdoc or that it's better to go to another one. I can't handle these feelings for you. It cause me to much hurt, sadness, anxiety. Maybe if I won't see you anymore, the feelings will go away.

I'm not even sure if I should continue therapy. Therapy, medication... I feel like nothing is going to help me. I don't think I can be helped.

Possible trigger:

I really want to be dead. I really want to take all the medicine there is in this house. It probably won't kill me. But I don't care. It might take my mind away from everything else. Just feel pain. But I can't do it now. I'm meeting a friend in a few weeks. I can't let her down. So I won't do it for at least another month. And maybe I won't even have the guts for it to do it. If I had, I would probably have done it sooner.

Not sure if I should tell you this. It's so hard for me to talk about personal things.