I agree that your child must be protected at all times from her cousin. Now that your wife understands and believes the issues, maybe you can tag team each other while watching your child with her cousin. In this way you will both have some time off and be able to socialize as well as keep your daughter as safe as possible.
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It certainly sounds like a difficult situation and my heart goes out to all of you.
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