i am the queen of bailing on invitations. so much so people do not invite me anywhere anymore. i am working on trying to go out more with people but this is just so traumatic for me. i even wrecked my car last week side swiping it across my friends car in my anxious attempt to leave as quickly as i could after going out to dinner with a friend last week. 2k worth of damage. i am working on going out at least once a week as a means of exposure therapy. so i went out for my car wreck dinner. then i went out wednesday for dinner. then out for frozen yogurt with coworkers thursday then thursday night i was invited to a big halloween bash and another coworker got all excited and was yeah we have to go and i immeidately had a panic attack at the thought and they were going on and on and i just put my hands up and was saying "stop". my one coworker knows about my anxiety but the other is new. i have no problem telling people about my anxiety and i let him know i am agoraphobic and the idea was too much for me to handle and this was something i could not consider at this time. my friends understand. if they dont understand, then i dont care. i dont want unsupportive people in my life. i will make honest attempts to go places if i want to support people, i will not put myself in uncomfortable positions, and if i get uncomfortable, i will remove myself from those situations. my mental health and taking care of me is what is most important. i have missed family members funeral, my son;s big events, important things, and i dont feel bad about it because i have to take care of me. if i go somewhere for the sake of someone else and i become a basket case, how good of a time is that person going to have if they have to take care of or worry about me?