OH I'm so sorry you experienced this! You did what you could at the time. Let's think about this, ok? You were in the ward because you were unable to take care of yourself, to keep yourself safe. You are beating yourself up because you didn't take care of someone else, a stranger, who also couldn't keep himself safe?

I'm sure the nurses and doctors, in whose care this young man was, knew all about his problems. That's why he was there. Unfortunately, those who are determined and so inclined will end their own lives in spite of any measures we might take.

What you are experiencing is a true human response. Try not to look back at the situation with today's abilities. It appears that if it happened again, today, you would be able to do something and perhaps save the boy's life. That doesn't mean you would have been able to back then, as you see you couldn't.

I think you need to continue to talk this through with someone. Guilt can be a terrible thing to carry. You don't need to feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. ((((hugs))))