*sigh*.... I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad about this. It's very very hard I do so understand.

I was a lifeguard(at a city pool) years ago and was hiking along a river trail one day. Three people were across the river, two guys and one lady-- they were acting intoxicated. The river was rapid and high with the new spring run off. The lady waded in the river and then couldn't get back to shore, the two guys put their belts together and tried to throw one end out to her-- but just then the river up and took her away...... as I--(with lifeguard training) stood in shock with my dog and boyfriend on the other side of the river. Later that night-- it was on the news..... the lady was found three miles down stream-- she died.

I've felt responsible for her death, I wonder so much now........

You-- you were in a place that was supposed to help people, you weren't an employee there, the ones with training-- please try not to blame yourself for what happened....
guilt can be so consuming.... I know this so well....

silentlyscreaming--

mandy