*Hugs*
I know it's hard. It always seems that when things get emotional that certain men pull away. Unfortunately, I don't know if there is anything you can do about that, except choose not to put up with his actions and leave. It sucks to see someone that you shared so much of yourself with just shut you out like that. He sounds like he's being a real ***** right now.
It bothers me that you were "happy and healthy" until you met him. The fact that he speaks so negatively about you, makes me feel that he is a bit toxic and is definitely making things worse.
I know that I'm just repeating myself, but I think you need to look at whether or not you should stick around. Yes, it can be difficult at times, when dealing with a partner who has depression (or any other mental illness), but there are plenty of men out there, who would be much more sensitive to your needs. He seems to just exacerbate them. I hope you can get up the courage to leave him (if necessary), because you know you can't change him. In fact, I feel it would be empowering for you. I know you can find someone who will support, respect and love you for who truly are. I sincerely hope everything works out, especially since I can truly feel your pain.

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