Well that last sentence about him not believing in psychology pretty much stated the entire reason why he was and always will be an 'institutional man'. He needs therapy really badly to find out why he feels he needs to break the law! The fact that he WON'T and doesn't get it is telling of man that CAN'T be reformed! He is not going to change because he doesn't believe in bettering himself. He will continue to break the law and go back to jail because of this.

Julia, here's a little background about me...I work and have my degree in the law field so please respect where I am about to come from when I give this next statement about why he controls you like he does....

There are a couple of reasons why he controls you:

1) Institutional life makes him this way. They tell him when to sit, stand, use the bathroom etc... He is only passing along what he believes is right to you. Although he might more be comfortable if YOU told HIM when and how to do these things...LOL. It is not right but maybe asking him to stop treating you like a prisoner, that it's not necessary, might be all it takes???

2) When he is inside, he has NO CONTROL over what you do, who you meet and where you go. How does he know that you won't meet a better man with more money on the outside that will he knows is better than him? His self-esteem level thinks this will happen, so he keeps up this level of control all the time whether he is in or out. That's his esteem level showing.

3) He has spent so much time on the inside being controlled by others, that he wants someone to control now. You happen to be it.

4) Now he makes this attempt to control you because he knows you are the better person and at anytime might meet someone that would be a better than him. This is probably a huge fear of his and hense, if he can keep you controlled, he keeps you with him at all times.

Now, if you understand why and where he is coming from and why he does this, ask yourself why you allow him to do it to you??? You are a smart girl who knows how important it is to attend to your meds and therapy. You know that a man who goes to jail and controls you...isn't being much of a man if he doesn't make an attempt to right his wrongs and never make those mistakes again. You know that if he doesn't believe in therapy...he doesn't support you with your illness...it means he lacks all respect and love for you and your illness. You know that a man that commits crimes and goes to jail...never gave you one thought when he committed that crime. Do you think he said...."If I get caught, I will go to jail and Julia will be left to fend for herself". No. Instead everything about his crimes are for his own good and selfish needs. About him and him only so...

Controlling + Selfish + Lack of Support + Not believing in you and what you are capable of = Lack of proper Love IMO.

I am sorry hun...if he really loved you he would get the help he needed to make sure he didn't need to leave you. You are ill with MI and you need his support without control. SeptembersMorn made 2 postings...one about what love is and one about what love isn't. They are both really great posts and you should give them a great read. If I were you....I would print them both out and magnet them to the fridge for his sake.

Good luck hun.