I really want to get testosterone so bad. I'm tired of people seeing me as someone I'm not. I'm tired of not being able to pass because my voice is too high. I hate my wide hips and weak arms. I hate that my birth name is on my school card so when I use it I get misgendered.

I need to find some way to get testosterone but unfortunately I'm not out to my family. I am out at school, but I will still have to come home to my family over the breaks.

Also, I'm not really sure how to get testosterone, or if I'll be ablable to afford it. I'm not sure what type should I get. Should I get injections, cream, or whatever else there is?