Dear G, I am counting down the days until I see you next, and now it's only 4 more days. I thought these 2 1/2 weeks would never come to an end, but now that the day gets closer, I am getting more and more anxious because I have to tell you about the romantic aspect of my feelings for you, and I don't know how you are going to react to that. I've been talking about this on 2 mental health forums because I am so scared. I know you said that there is nothing I can tell you that is going to make you walk away from me or tell me you can't do therapy with me anymore, but I am so scared. All my life I've been taught that homosexuality is an abomination, and you are a Christian, and I am so scared that you will find me to be disgusting. I don't know how I will cope if you tell me you can't see me anymore. And if you tell me you can't hug me anymore I will feel rejected all over again. Part of me just wants this to be over, so I can stop being afraid of how you will react. Part of me doesn't want to tell you, because if I don't tell you, you won't abandon me. But if I don't tell you then there is no chance at all to work through my transference issues. In a way, I would be so relieved if you would tell me that you knew this about me already. All the times I've tried to talk to you about this transference, I feel like you haven't taken it seriously enough, and I need you to not ignore this, because it is a freaking big deal to me. I just hope that you will hear me when I say I don't even want to have romantic feelings for you. I hope you will understand how much this is tormenting me. Sometimes it feels like when I am feeling most tormented, I can't cry or otherwise communicate how deeply troubled I actually am, and that frustrates me to no end. Not being able to communicate what I NEED to communicate is SO FRUSTRATING. Please, please, please don't abandon me. I think I would die.