Thank you all for your replies.
I understand what you're all saying about how I should only rely on myself to fix myself.

I want our relationship to work out... But I realize I can't force him to reassure me when I'm getting anxious and irritated if he wants to take the defensive path.

I feel like maybe deep down he is ashamed of himself for hurting me, he has told me that a couple times, and he doesn't want me to bring it up or reference it because he's not proud of it.
He wants me to move on, and I'm trying to, but I also deal with reminders and he doesn't understand that. When I get sensitive or irritated because of a reminder, he gets defensive and he justifies things and then reproach me stuff like "you blame me but you know it wasn't easy for me either". Which to me sounds like making excuses and hurts me more. I never said things were easy but easy or not, there are things you don't do. And he did them.

I also know that I haven't been giving him much of what he wants in a relationship because of my state. I don't think he feels loved enough.

I have yet to get diagnosed by a doctor as I haven't had the courage to go but I realize that it's necessary. If I had to guess, based on what I know it would be PTSD with depression, either MDD or BP2. It's obviously not realistic to think that he can fix that... I'm just hoping he can help me.