I've reached (finally) the "moment", if you could call it that, of recognition in my latest ptsd relapse. It wasn't easy, but it is a twisted mess of relief, continued stress, and struggle.

During the spring, I taught three classes at my daughter's homeschool supplement program. I can teach, I discovered. I can't cope with the extra stress, even if I wanted to. In other words, I found my limit.

That limit feels like failure to my perfectionist brain. It's not failure, it's just the limit of my ptsd-damaged brain.

I am beginning to understand how and why long-term ptsd is often considered to be a permanent disability. I've never been on "disability" (ssi) and I am not sure that it would be worth it to try or that it would even be considered. I've been an unemployed stay-at-home mom for the last 8 years.

It's limits, not failure....