i understand how once the thought gets there, how impossible it is not to do it. what worked for me was working through a book called the scarred soul. you can get it used on amazon for a penny and 3.99 s&h. it was very non-threatening. read a chapter, answer questions. helps you understand why you are doing it and such. makes you feel safe in that it really doesnt ask you to stop what you are doing throughout the process. then when you finally get to that chapter to make the commitment to stop, well i wasnt ready....so i stopped working the book, but i didnt cut for over five years. i was in the midst of a breakdown then and only cut a couple times and it has been over 8 years now since i have cut. so it really worked for me. good luck and if you need to talk, send me a message.