I don't have friends right now but I am not lonely. Or rather I do have a long time telephone friend who I don't call much but none where I live here or have any regular contact with. My daughter doesn't deal well with the bipolar part of my life so I heavily edit how I am with her. I act socially acceptable around people. I used to partially dissociate to do that, to function at work when I worked, and life, etc. Now I have resolved that part of me. I attend a highly structured, role playing, social skills group twice a week which has taught me a lot realistically but I haven't been able to let myself get close to anyone so far for quite a few years. My husband and I divorced after approx 33 years some years ago but I hid a lot from him too. He was never my "best friend."