Have you looked into clinics that do informed consent? Some places will prescribe you t. There is a procedure to it, they talk to you about what you want from transition, your history of depression, they do some blood tests. The place I went to was in Chicago, and they were all very nice. Within about two weeks of my first appointment, the doctor said I was healthy enough and ready to start testosterone. So if you're worried about coming put to family until you feel more secure, but still want to start t, I'd definately see if there are any clinics in your area that operate on or offer informed consent. I found mine by just googling "fm informed consent". If you're near the Chicago area, look into the Howard Brown Health Center. Hope this helps!