I've been in therapy for all sorts of things for the last twenty years. I was diagnosed with DID in 2007, but left it untreated until two years ago. It just got to the point where I had to put myself first or one of us would make an unhealthy decision for all of us.

So for the past year, I've only been getting therapy for DID. I assured my doc I know enough about the co-morbid disorders to know when it's becoming a problem in my functioning. Long story short - one step forward, two steps back in therapy. Just as you figure someone out somebody else taps you on the shoulder. But we're ok for only one year of therapy.

"Trigger Warning!"

I live in a complex of ten flats. We're all on the ground floor and security is important to us so this complex suits me well. One night during the week, a guy walked past our gate walking his dog. Two other dogs from up the road (pitbulls) attacked this dog, literally bit chunks out of him. All our residents were there in seconds, two of them throwing water at the pitbulls and yours truly has the remote for the gate.

Again, long story short but there was an escalation of violence between the residents and the pit bull owners. One of the residents had enough and got his pellet gun and shot the dogs with his pellet gun. Due to my history, violence is something I cannot handle. I dissociated immediately. At once I was standing far away and I was as calm as anything, I watched what happened in front of me, and I watched what happened inside my head at the same time. Nr 1 was out and she was over-ridden by Nr7 and Nr3 but she still held part of the consciousness, although she wasn't in control as the system administrator.

I It took a crisis like that for me to see how well we function together not against each other. I wish I could say how proud of myself I am in a crisis, but it's not true, it's not me. It's someone else and the concept I have of "me" is still more of a watcher than a doer.