i noticed ive been having like lightheadedness and nausea and eating makes me feel better and i looked up my symptoms and it said something about hypoglycemic reactions. about waiting too long to eat. which i think it might be right. i could not be eating right.

i could be messing myself over with eating disordered patterns. because i want to be skinny so badly. and my mom pushes me to eat healthy and less and preaches the phrase "nothing tastes better than thin". its really doing me over. urgh not a good role model mom! im killing myself over here.

but im probablg going into some hypoglycemic thing here. because all my symptoms match up. its hard for me to eat a lot. and when i do its not healthy. but i drink healthy things. but not eat healthy things.

i kinda wanna cry. i dont want to have a heart attack by not eating and putting myself through the stress of wanting to be thin and having a parent pushing me to exercise and lose weight but i dont want to be at that weight i was before where i was prediabetic.

i know i keep talking about this but its so hard to come out to my therapist about this. like...idk how