I'm embarrassed to look for a new job. I'm embarrassed that last year at this time I contacted one of my instructors from college. He was very willing to help. He put me in contact with a few local companies and I met with one of them. I was going to do a test for the potential to work on an upcoming project for them. I'm embarrassed that I didn't follow through. Ashamed that my anxiety and depression took over. I told the person I interviewed with that I would send him updates of my progress. I didn't. I feel stuck. This seems to be a pattern. I get up enough energy to go out and look for new more suitable employment but then my anxiety, depression and sense of hopelessness take over. I've asked several people for help but I've had extreme difficulty following through. I'm reluctant to go out and look again. I'm afraid I'll follow the same patterns.