It sucks a lot that we get stuck to fix ourselves when it is someone else who caused the damage.... but that's how it works. Other people can't fix things for us. If it's been a really long time, and you can't seem to heal or move past the things he's done wrong... then for your own sake wouldn't it be best to move on? All you are doing is causing yourself more and more pain every time.

As to him leaving when things get too much? You said in your first post that he's the only person you really talk to about stuff. That is a huge amount of pressure to put on someone. You're placing 100% of your pain on his shoulders, and expecting him to give 100% to try and make you better. That's unfeasible.

In a way, at least he comes back. A lot of people wouldn't. A lot just bail out when the pressure gets too much, and then never return at all.

But with all of the things you're saying about him.... what positives do you get from the relationship? Do they outweigh the negatives?