I am extremely isolated such that I sometimes don't talk to anyone for days, and my phone doesn't ring for months. This has begun fairly recently (3 years ago), since I have moved to a foreign country, where language and culture barriers are present (The culture and language barriers exacerbate my isolation, they are not causing it. At home I was surrounded by my family, and I didn't feel the isolation from the outside world). At first I was OK with being alone because the pain of socializing and making fun of myself is much greater than the pain from isolation. But I feel I am losing my mind. Today, I felt so frustrated and angry that everyone is out with his/her friend or family but me. I drank some beers to relax and I cried. I cannot simply go out and talk to people. Even my relatives from my country don't ask about me, and I cannot imagine talking to them, or even going back home, because I don't want to see anyone.

I just wanted o say this for someone to know, because I feel I will leave this world without ever knowing what is the meaning of joy in life and that no one knows my suffering.