While I agree that he's in the wrong for not communicating with you about the gigs, ultimately the gigs are what he's passionate about and as long as he makes time for you and you guys don't have any children that he's neglecting, he should be allowed to do however many gigs he wants.

Also consider that a lot of guys (myself included) are introverted by nature and don't like talking about every little thing that we have planned or every little problem in our life. Many of us need our space or we go crazy. If said man was abused or hurt in any major way in his life, this type of personality gets many times worse.

I would suggest supporting his music passions as long as he makes time for you or maybe even let him bring you on a gig or two to hang out. Make it clear that you love him and support what makes him happy but request that he makes time for you in return.