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waggiedog · Aug 31, 2015 at 09:53 AM

Hello again everyone ~~ Angelicgoldfish thanks. My reasoning about these ED's, and everything/anything related to issues around eating/starving/restricting/binging and abuse of meds (prescribed or otherwise) is, all we appear to want/need and obsess over is, weight loss by any means. In my book it's as simple as that! I've passed through a mass of Psycholigists, Psych Dr's, specialists in ED's, GP's, One to one and group CBT/DBT courses ~~ opps, not a lot more I can add to that is there!! Actually there is, another minefield, meds whether OTC (over the counter), prescribed and some of the 'street drugs'. I'm not wanting to exclude anorexia completely, even though I've been hospitalised for that over 20 years ago BUT, in my general experience most of the anorexia sufferers had never actually been overweight, or certainly never 'fat'. Please PLEASE, if you are a sufferer reading this, don't take offense (please add your voice) because anorexia can be, and IS without doubt, a killer.

Personally my fight over the last 30 plus years has been totally and absolutely about loosing weight, trying to get slim, though THIN would be better. Being thin is NEVER MINE for long, as yes, I can rid the weight, but it comes back on quicker than it ever falls of!! I'm obsessed by checking myself in the mirror, any mirror, anywhere!! My day is only gonna go by what I weight that morning, a pound this, a pound that way makes a huge difference.
The fact that I'm diagnosed with BPD IS def linked but it's not the cause, the symptoms of BPD are close to the symptoms of other disorders. I was the fattest kid in my class at school and I KNOW that's partly where my weight obssessions began, my worth is my weight.

I'm sorry if I've rambled here, or muddled you all up by my writing, it's just it's difficult to know how to put my thoughts into words, and to let you know your thinking isn't unique to you, others share this daily grind, but we just can't forget it, doesn't work that way!! OK, I'm off now, thanks for reading. xxxxxxxxxxxx