Hi

Due to the problem I recently posted about, I have had a long talk with myself and a good think over the past few days. I recognise now that a huge part of my problem is the fact that I have a very low self esteem and that the problem with Mr X and various other factors has contributed to this. I literally hate myself, have no faith in myself or my abilities any more and feel like I'm always going to feel as bad and as low as I do at this very moment. I want to be loved, I want to be someone's number 1 but due to the type of person that I am, I feel I will never meet anyone who cares enough about me to put me first and that I'm not the type of person who will ever be someone who someone wants to be with long term.

I'm wondering has anyone else ever felt like this, due to heartbreak, or any other reason? If so, how did you combat it and how did you truly begin to believe in yourself and feel that you deserved love? I'm tired of feeling like an ugly fat loser because of one event in my life at the hands of someone who I thought cared. I want to get myself back, to achieve my dreams and be someone in control, and someone who others want to have around. I just don't know how to. If anyone else has ever achieved this, I'd be grateful for your advice.