I just typed a whole reply and it disapeared! Aaah! I'll try to recreate....

Thanks sunrise, purple moon, withit.

The question about grieving is an interesting one. I think I'm grieving for loosing the idea and security of being married. I am financially stable etc etc, but being alone is still scarey. I'm also grieving for the marriage and relationship we used to have. We had many many wonderful times and experiences together. Just because it isn't like that now, doesn't mean I don't remember how it used to be. We tried, but we couldn't get back to that good place.

purplemoon - I'll check out the site you listed. I wasn't offended by the religious aspect, though it might not be what I'm looking for at this time.

withit - My husband and I have been separated but living in the same house for almost a year. I know that sounds strange, we needed time apart, but still wanted to try to save our marriage and having him move out didn't seem like it would foster that. We went on dates, had scheduled discussions, and went to couples therapy for 2 years. My husband has gone through several tramatic events over the past several years and now that he's come out of that stage he has set new goals for his life. Even though I didn't want to be divorced I didn't share those goals. He decided about 3 weeks ago that he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore. Neither of us can change what we want out of life, so even though I don't want to be divorced I can see that this is the right thing in the long run. If I compromised what I want now I think it would cause even more pain later on.