sunrise - I'm going to spend some time on the site you included and also check out the book. I've been following your threads on your experience in couples and individual therapy. That is somewhat similar to my experience as I was seeing the same T for both. I'm glad we did it that way so she could actually meet my husband and understand his personality and mine.

"And just when I think I'm done, something new will come up and it will be more tears, grief, and just a profound sadness. "

So true! Somedays I'll be going on with my life and then BAM! the sadness or anxiety hits me. I guess that's normal, but it is really exhausting. I liked your analogy to layers of grief also. If I can stay in the present I feel ok, but as my mind wanders back to past happy events that's when it gets tough or similarly to the years ahead which seem both exciting and freeing they also are scary and unknown.

I was interested to read about your expected timing. Do you mind my asking why you are waiting to the Fall to separate? After we decided not to work to save our marriage, I decided I wanted to be the one to file. It is giving me a sense of confidence. I have been surprised about how fast the process actually is. My attorney says we could be divorced by this fall if everything goes as expected. That is a little scary and faster than I expected.