My sympathy to you, defeated11, for all that you are having to go through. Your girlfriend is certainly not behaving well towards you.

My problem with what people are saying about "break up with her and let her be homeless" is that she sounds like she needs some mental health care.

I think you have to decide how responsible you feel for her well-being. Even though the two of you are not married, if you have been together for four and a half years, you are essentially her partner.

That doesn't mean, of course, that you can't leave. You have to balance how much help you are able to give your girlfriend and what you have to do to keep yourself sane.

I don't know how mental health care works in your country, but I would encourage both you and your girlfriend to see a physician and explain what kind of things are going on with you and get some suggestions.

I know that the UK has the Samaritans organization. Is there anything like that where you live? It sounds like you need an impartial, mature person to talk to. This could be a psychotherapist, but it doesn't have to be.

Thanks for posting on this forum. This can be a good place to talk about your problems and to hear what other people have done in similar situations.