i hate how easy it is for me to "jump the gun" on things... i have an above average tolerance for things but... when the moment goes wrong, its like, my fuse is so short my emotions escalate too high way too fast...

not like im doing anything bad, because more often than not im being reasonable... but the emotions still appear... and i just lose it... and get on this tangent line of thinking... cant stop thinking and thinking and thinking about it...

i mean... i didnt lose it badly this time... but when i do, its like a circus show, and i start hyperventilating, and maybe babbling... and then punching the air, and punching things, and i get all of this rage that makes me want to really hurt something...

worst of all?...

the next day or four, im living life like if it never happened... so stupid, so temporary, so irrational, so wow...

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oooooooooooh well...

i can usually control it, or contain it so that i can let it out somewhere else... but im trying to break the chain to begin with because i know that by letting myself get used to that behavior, i make it easier for the next time... easier said than done but... thats why im here...

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first thread... whoo!...