I think it's supposed to be something that happens naturally because a secure attachment style is the only one that CAN defend against "right brain stuff"

I am no stranger to right brain stuff... all people respond to having their emotional needs met. It's something your behavior is asking for in other people, like a signal you constantly send out. Like Stopdog, on one hand you say you don't want any of this stuff but you sure put yourself in the right atmospheres to end up confronted with it.