i dont know why i even asked such a stupid question...of course it was rape...i didnt want to have sex. i dont know what im going to do. i cant tell the police, last time this happened they didnt help at all...they pretty much laughed in my face. i guess i could tell a close friend...but i dont want anyone feeling sorry for me, and i know thats what my friend will do.
i cant stop thinking about that night...bits and pieces are missing because i was so drunk, but i know what happened. im having horrible flashbacks from two years ago when i was raped by my best friend...then he shot himself right in front of me. it feels like all this is happening again. i've been having dreams of that guy shooting himself. i feel like im going crazy...its like im obsessing on this and i cant make my mind shut off.