It's really bad, as bad as it gets without being actively suicidal. I keep falling and can't seem to do anything about it, I've made some efforts, done what I could, but it's hit me like a train and I don't know what to do, what I can do. I'm afraid of where this will go, what will happen if I tell or anyone finds out how bad it is.
I have so much to do and I can't get it done. Schoolwork, phonecalls, asking for help - I go to do them and try to think of what I need to write or say, and I can't put it together, then I feel so down, like it's all useless, and don't do anything. And I can't get my reading done, I get so drowsy trying to read it - that's about all I can do, sleep. I feel so miserable I can't bear it, and I have no idea what to do about it short of dying - but I don't want to do that to myself... dying would be great, but I'd rather not commit suicide. So I don't know what to do, nothing seems manageable, nothing's really helped before, it's all so hopeless.