I woke up and had a ton of intrusive and suicidal thoughts. I waited in bed until I had to get up. Then I called my mom crying and told her what happen and she came home from work and was helping me out. I called in sick to work and didn't go today. I feel stupid for what I did. I don't want to hurt myself. I just don't want to feel like **** anymore. I've been depressed for about a month. I don't want to die. I just want to get better. Tomorrow I'm seeing a nurse practitioner before I see my new psychiatrist on the 16th. Hopefully I can get a medicine adjustment that works or helps my depression a little bit more. I feel really ****ing stupid for almost cutting myself.