i believe to raise self esteem we have to stop looking for validation from others. we simply cannot count on other people to make us feel good about ourselves. they are simply too undependable. WE have to make ourselves feel good. WE have to make ourselves important. WE have to make ourselves #1. Then anything we get from another person is whip cream and cherries.

to do this, I came up with one indisputable fact. one good thing about me that I could not deny no matter how bad I felt about myself. for me it was that I was a good writer. I have always gotten A's on my papers for as long as I can remember and write professional evaluations today that receive praise. there is no denying that I am a good writer. so when I started running off that list of bad things in my head, I could say, yeah, but I am a good writer to compliment myself and feel good instead of bad. soon I found more good things about me and added them to the list. it took awhile but eventually I started believing that I was a good person with these good qualities. this is how I built my self esteem.