Dependance is the thing that lets me know that i won't be shutting off anytime soon... shutting off has been much much more of a problem for me than dependance... though back in the day, i did get hurt a couple times after becoming too dependant on a person... And for some reason or another, i don't feel like i love my boyfriend enough when i am not dependant... like he deserves more love from me or something like that... I guess also, the shutting off had been something that my subconcious did to keep me safe... though i definitely feel much much much much safer dependant on my boyfriend... because i feel the safest when i am with him than i really ever have with anyone. Also, in the beginning of when i would shut off, i would almost do it on purpose, but then it became uncontrollable and i would shut off at times when i didnt want to, destroying the relationship i was in... and by becomming not dependant on my boyfriend, i am scared i wont have control over it, and shut off again, ruining the most perfect thing i have ever had in my entire life. Maybe that clears it up a bit.
ºPhae