What do you mean, you shouldn't have to deal with this again? I've been dealing with it for thirty years, and still go through all that you've described. Only without the great support team of psychiatrist, GP, and psychologist to help me through it.

Here's the bad news: yeah, you can have relapses. It's kind of like an allergy: once you've been exposed, you can have a reaction at any re-exposure. That's the bad news. The good news is that it's like an allergy: once you've identified the allergen, you can take precautions, and have a sort of psychological Epi-Pen on hand in case you are exposed.

It took me almost five months to tell my therapist about my AN, even though that was a big part of what I started seeing her for. I also couldn't make myself tell my psychiatrist straight out about it, I had to hint around until suddenly he said, "Anorexia? Is that what we're talking about?" Don't feel alone there. The last time a doctor brought up my weight to me, I just brushed it off. He didn't let it go right away, but eventually did. I think it's GREAT that your GP has enough on the ball to bring it up to you. Let him help you.

In your case, I've got a little bit of sympathy for the psychiatrist -- but only in the sense that he's trying to do something for you, and pills is what he does. My husband calls psychiatrists "Pill Dispensers." He thinks that's all they do, because that's all they've ever done for me. (And not very successfully, I might add...) My own psychiatrist just asked how much I weighed the other day, and asked if we could change me to a drug to put some weight on me. I thanked him and declined, because that's all the treatment I've ever gotten for this, and while it might make me fat, it certainly hasn't stopped me being vulnerable to a relapse. I told him that I wanted a formal diagnosis noted in my chart, and to work on resolving the underlying issues with my therapist. I also said that he would be acting in my best interest by noting the formal diagnosis, because then the insurance would be more likely to pay for things like a bone scan and other tests to insure that my health was not too badly damaged while my therapist and I worked on it.

I know I didn't tell you anything there, except that you're not alone, but I hope it helped a little. And no matter how nice it is to see those numbers getting smaller on the scale, with your new college knowledge, wouldn't you rather show the world how much MORE you are now, with all that inside you?

Be well.