Thank you very much for your kind words.
I know that I have a lot to be thankful for..its just that I think all this negative stuff is in my subconscious and comes out subtley at times...
Unfortunately I am not going to couselling though.....I had a bad experience on that..I went to a pyschiatrist for treatment of OCD (which i am doing much better now) but my marriage (to a girl) came crumbling down as a result......its actually there where I became a "practicing" gay male.....argghhh such complicated lives we live .....anyway..that is another story and I dont want to be boring with my issues.....
Thank you once more for your kind words...I will do my best to keep that in my mind.