Well, this time there is no way out. After various failed attempts to have someone over, I am going away for a few days and have someone taking care of my cat.

Now, the house is a bigger mess than I can possibly fix before I go. I will do what I can (kick me if I am on here in the next few hours), but I am so ashamed of what she will see... And I dont know how bad it is since I am so used to it. I am so used to the mold and dust.

But what good is being self conscious? The woman coming knows my issues with other things... And she doesnt have to stay long to see my cat... Well, either way, I am finally having my place seen by someone, after god knows how long... ahhh.

Ok, ok, cleaning what I can. She will manage. And if I stop being so ashamed, I may actually be able to do something about it... Eventually I may even get rid of the garbage and recycling (I havent got rid of recycling in 2 years).