I'm sure this probably sounds strange, but I have been trying to find my abusers for the past year or so.

When I was 4, I was sexually abused by 2 or 3 people at the daycare where I was enrolled. They were never caught (to our knowledge). Being that young, my brain just could not handle the abuse and I just shut down. I have only little bits and pieces of my memory up until about 16. Of course I acted out due to the abuse, but I always had my mom to explain what was happening and to reassure me that everything I would feel is normal (she was abused as a child as well). Now that she has passed, I am left with a TON of questions and no answers.

Soooo, I just submitted the Police Report Request form to get copies of the police records.

I am so excited, but so damn nervous. What if I have flashbacks again? My mom isn't here to talk me through them. What if mentally I actually am not prepared to handle what I find out? What if they lost the records and I am constantly stuck with these questions.

Has anyone else gone through this before?