I struggle with this concept more and more every day.

For a long time, the longest time at any job, I was content to be where I am. Then all of a sudden I wasn't. Although perhaps 'content' wasn't the right word, since the longer I stayed at my job the more medicine I had to take in order to be functional there. Now I have determined that I need something more, but I'm afraid that I lack the skills or that a new job would be even worse for me than this one is in terms of putting demands on me that I struggle to meet. I recently decided to return to school, which helps with the idea that I will one day have the freedom to leave if I need to, but does little to help my personal health and well-being in the short term since I am now working a job that I now no longer like and going to school on top of that. I'm operating at a constant level of low-grade anxiety, and I worry about having one of my more epic meltdowns.

Contentment only seems to work for me as long as I can't identify that there is nothing wrong.