I've been active in the bdsm world for over 2 yrs. I'd recently taken a Master & I've been his slave for 11 months.
He is married
I am married. But that's not the issue.
I've gone thru sub drop many times & know that my MDD doesn't help it at all. The lows are massive drops & it's hard to crawl out of them.
I've recently broken my relationship off w/my Master. So I know a drop is coming bec we recently played.
He's the type of Master that crawls into your head & pulls up a couch. Extremely intuitive & he knows a great deal about me especially my mental health issues. He's been very good for me in many, many ways.
I've been strong enough to stop therapy. I've been in it for over 23 yrs. I've also decided to take control of my meds & go the organic, herbal route. I've been doing surprisingly really well! I'm proud of how hard I worked to become more controlled over my role in my life. He's taught me a great deal about handling stress, being good to myself & striving for a better life for myself. I was very happy.

Now he's gone...& so is all my self confidence. I'm so worried that I'm going to back slide. Was he just an artificial buffer? How can I stand on my own now w/no one at my side? Should I just bag all my progress & crawl back to a therapist?

I wanto be strong & remember the things he taught me....but it's just so easy to curl up on the couch, cry & sleep my life away.

Any suggestions?