It's probably a little different for me because I hadn't SHed in like 18 years until I did about a month ago. For me, in a way I was ashamed to tell my T, marriage counselor, and p-doc. But then in another sense there was a feeling of...I'm not sure if "pride" is the right word, but almost like, "See, I'm not as strong and resilient as you think I am." Like I think they had this sense that I was doing fairly well, but I tend to hide lots of emotions and thoughts. So this was like, "Here's something I can't hide" (well, it was in a location I could hide, but still). Does that make any sense? Like, it's not like I did it intentionally to prove something. But in having done it, maybe it was more like, "Do you understand how much I'm hurting now?" And when I showed my T and p-doc (didn't show MC, but I think p-doc may have given brief description to him--with my permission), I felt some weird sense of pride that I'd cut more than they'd expected from what I'd said. (like very shallow cuts, but numerous.)