So, my friends really like to complain about how they're not liked by enough people. One of them has over 5k followers on Instagram and is recognized and gets pictures taken of her at cons all the time no matter what character she's cosplaying, and then she complains that she's "not pretty enough for 10k" all while she's steadily gaining followers. The other has over 800 followers on Instagram, and is very well liked in general. People take lots of pictures of her, too. But she complains that she doesn't have enough followers.
Well, GUESS WHAT, friends! It's even worse being completely irrelevant! With them, they have a ton of people who love them and a few who hate them. With me, people either hate me or don't care. It f**king sucks. I don't want to be the most irrelevant person on Earth anymore. I don't go to a regular school due to the severity of my mental illness, so I can't make friends, and no matter where I go it's always the same; hated or insignificant. I'm always excluded from things I should be included in, or deliberately insulted. No one takes photos of me at cons; I don't even have 150 followers. But they don't see me complaining to them, because I'm trying not to sound like I have an inferiority complex like they accused me of years ago.

I'm just sick of being insignificant. A lot of times I wonder why someone as insignificant as me was even born. No one notices my presence in a room. No one replies to my comments except when they feel sorry for me. No one even talks to me unless I talk to them first; they don't care enough to even contact me. Sometimes even then they don't talk to me.

I identify with Mio Sonozaki from Little Busters! for this very reason. She has a favorite poem that she describes as "me written in a book." It talks about a white bird that floats between the blue of the sea and the blue of the sky, untouched by either. She tries to view it as a happy poem, saying that the white bird is untainted by the blue of the sky or sea, leaving it pure. But I view it as kind of sad; the bird is untouched, meaning it has nothing to hold onto. It's all alone.
That bird is basically Mio and I.

Ugh, I'm sounding freaking melodramatic right now, I'll just shut up. Like it matters, anyway.

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