I will see you again and I'm both excited and really worried about it. I realize I miss you but I'm wondering if seeing you once now will do me more harm than good after I was starting to be a little bit more stable after such a long break.. and before a presumably looonger break. I'm scared because it was so hard to get to this point and now this might screw everything up. And yes I'm more relaxed due to meds and I know you won't like it. I couldn't make it on my own this time. Please don't be disappointed, it's been so hard and it still is.